Wednesday, February 9, 2011

I'm not a computer

I know this will surprise and disappoint people, but I am not a computer.

I know this because of those stupid squiggly words you have to type to prove you're not a computer (although aren't they created by computers?). Like when you forget your password or you try to leave a comment somewhere.

 I can't read them 2/3's of the time and I'm pretty sure that Google is using really obscure words and is laughing at how little we really know.  Seriously, most of them could be words, I bet they are words and my vocabulary is just stunted.

Below are examples I collected to help reinforce my paranoia (I gave them meanings, so I could be like that guy that invented the word quiz).

Words Computers Can't read:

Chieg- from Deutsch origin. Noun. The hard dried out piece of the cheese when it gets left out. "Half this cheese is chieg, gross." 

Reese-  from Hershey's origin. Noun. A delicious candy! No creativity here, just hunger. "Don't let me know where you keep your Resse's. I will eat them.ALL."

Weksph- from welsh origin. adj. A rich, snotty term, to describe when your shoes get damp from standing in the grass drinking champagne (or vodka in a water glass) all day while watching polo. (I have recently watched "Pretty Woman").  " My $500 pair of shoes have Weksph stains, from being rich and drinking champagne while watching polo. Glad I wore the cheap pair."

Vizatemb- from classic TV origin. Pharmacology, Trademark. The medicine formally known as Vitameatavegamin. When the FDA decided that its claims to make you more "poop-ular" when taken regularly, a  pharmaceutical company bought the formula and is now selling it as a mood stabilizing drug. Also known to prolong intimacy with little to no memory after the fact. "Hey didn't you and Katie hold hands last night?" "No clue man, I just got a perscription for Vizatemb, my head hurts and I'm thirsty". 

Daling- from Middle English origin. Noun. Used by old movie stars to show their class and money, usually pronounced with 14 extra a's. "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-ling absolutely everyone was in love with Carry Grant.

Mityp- Noun. A white geriatric rapper. 



  2. Love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Haha Hilarious!! I love it! (Here goes those stupid squiggly words again once click the stupid post comment button)