Not only is "fruit salad" a TERRIBLE HORRIBLE UNFORGIVABLE children's song (some of my younger cousins were IN LOVE with it, I can't eat it now) it's also what's been growing in my uterus.
I signed up to a website "BabyCenter" which gives you the progress your baby is making each week, like one week it grew hair and another week it grew a liver(I don't think it was in that order). It also gives you the approximate weight and length of your baby. However, and I find this odd, it gives you things to compare the size of your baby to, which is not the weird part, this is: it's always a fruit.
Like one week my baby was the size of a raisin, one week a blueberry or grape, this week it's a lime wedge. It even does it to my uterus. It went from being the size of a pear to the size of a grape fruit (at 11 weeks the baby was the size of a fig, next month it's an apple). If the baby would grow to the size of a yogurt container, I really could make a decent fruit salad.
It's not just this site that refers to baby's size by the "Kertzwig Fruit Scale" (the name I made up for it, I think "Kertzwig" sounds like a doctor's name that would spend time making a baby height fruit scale) it's every single baby book I've read and every single site I've visited, everyone is obsessed (I kept trying to type "obsessed" and it kept getting auto-corrected to "obese" I GET IT, computer) with fruity babies. Why are vegetables being left out huh? Or Hostess cake snacks? What's your angle National Fruit Growers Association?
Is it less offensive than having a home office in your belly? "Your baby this week is the size of a paper clip/stapler/coffee mug with cutesy inscription". Or how about art supplies? "Your baby this week is the size of a gum eraser/oil paint/bottle of turpentine". OH! How about house hold cleaning supplies? "Your baby this week is the size of a sponge/small liquid soap bottle/scrub brush".
Fruit salad (inspired by my little uterus usurper)
Feeds: up to 6 belly rubbers
Time: Should distract them long enough to make your escape or booby trap belly.
Mix together in Large bowl:
1/4 cup of raisins,
1/4 cup of blue berries
1/2 cup sliced grapes (what ever color, ultra sounds are in black and white. So it doesn't matter)
2 sliced, skinned and cored pears, chopped
1 grape fruit peeled and segmented
1 handful of chopped and seeded figs
1 apple peeled cored and chopped
Sprinkle all ingredients with 1/2 a lime to reduce browning of fruits
Add yogurt to taste
Serve and run away.