Tuesday, July 5, 2011

My body is not a wonderland

It's apparently a jungle gym. The baby likes to use my ribs as monkey bars (or as a possible escape hatch, I thought he was going to break out last night when he was trying to get away from the fireworks), he uses my bladder a teeter totter (jumping from one side to other to be both the teeter and the totter), and he commanders my spine as a slide (which he likes to grip on the way down).

Don't worry, he doesn't ignore my other internal organs, they all get plenty of attention, I just couldn't think of any other good (or you know kind of works if you squint and title your head) examples of what he's doing in there. Being almost two feet or so at this point and around two pounds he's heavy enough to feel and big enough to see when he hits toward my belly (and not vital organs), he's small enough that he can perform all sorts of acrobatic feats of daring.

On an unrelated topic (like second cousin  once removed by marriage unrelated) has anyone noticed that at 4th of July celebrations (particularly public ones that involve fireworks) the number of rednecks in existence seems to increase by almost eleventy billion percent? Is it an optical illusion caused by all the grill fumes? Does the week long lead up of at home fireworks spook them out of hiding? Where do they all come from? I swear I usually only see two or three at a time, over the course of a couple days, but last night at the park (where my hometown has it's firework's display) they were out in droves. It was unsettling. Even Larry the Cable Guy would have taken a step back and gone "WAY to many mullets".

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