Monday, June 13, 2011

Dressing Rooms

Dear clothing designers, retailers, and all those whom (who?) are interested,

I'm a big girl. And yes that mean's I can wear pull ups and cry at my party if I want to, but I also mean I'm a BIG girl. I don't think small children have ever cried at the sight of me and to my knowledge no one on the street has ever stopped, pointed, and yelled "DAMN", but I can sometimes be a plus size shopper. Compound that with being 5'10 and oddly portioned (no butt, rather busty) and it's usually a long day of shopping when I'm in need of new clothes, it's not impossible and I don't usually start crying and cramming my face with Ben and Jerry's (What up chunky monkey!) but I do avoid certain stores.

One store (or type of store) I thought I wouldn't have to worry about not finding anything in was a maternity store (I have been known, on occasion, to "unknowingly" buy a maternity shirt (or two). They are very flattering for my body type). IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE DESIGNED FOR WOMEN WITH BIG BELLIES AND BIG BOOBS!! That's what's supposed to happen when you "become with child". BUT NO. Same problem as in normal stores, if it fits one place it doesn't fit another and if you are already fat, that means you have even bigger boobs which means you want to wear tops slit in half to show the world because surely a big woman doesn't want people looking anywhere else (LIKE MY FACE) they might notice she's fat.

Surprise designers! People with eyes know what I look like (or people that read my blog have hazy details that can inspire an idea). So stop putting me in mu-mu's with inappropriate chest-ail cutouts. Not only skinny people get knocked up, I promise you, I'm living proof (as is my in-utero son) that you don't have to be hungry for someone to find you attractive. So please make something that will cover me without suffocating me.  Thank you.

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