Friday, June 10, 2011

Guess what time it is?

That's right, Benford tools is proud to present to much information time!

I have both a UTI and  and a bladder infection. I just lost half my readership. There's just not a lot to right about when you've spent all day rocking in pain, hydrating, and napping. For someone that's never had either before: I hate you. A lot. In fact, you should send me cupcakes. Right now. I'm waiting. Ok. Yeah, I didn't have much hope that would work.

To kind of understand what it's like (UTI's and bladder infections, not waiting for cupcakes, although....)  imagine being on a long, long car  ride while riding through a thunderstorm by a roaring river after drinking three 32 oz big gulps. OK, now imagine you've been stuck in the car for 3 hours and you can't pull over. Does it hurt yet? You know that "OMG SOMETHING IS GOING TO EXPLODE, I'm gonna die from spontaneous internal bladder explosion" feeling? Got the yet? Ok good,now sit around with it for another ten hours. Then, finally get to the bathroom and where it turns out you don't have to go. The need to go isn't gone, but the evidence is.

Now shove all of this routine into about 4 minute intervals. I know according to the description this process should take about 47 hours, but pretend you're in the Tardis with Dr.Who and you're speeding up time with his sonic screw driver (DORK ALERT!). It's just that you have this painful, burning, all consuming need to go but YOU CAN'T. You sweat, you rock, you cry a little and you wish with more power than a 6 year old on Christmas eve that the doctors (the place not the British TV show) office opened at 5 am instead of at the unreasonable hour of 8 am.

Then you get the blessing from the doctor to take some AZO and 30 minutes later you can function.

The end.

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