Friday, August 12, 2011

Birthing Class

I have decided the most annoying phrase to come out of birthing class is "it's a purposeful pain". Well, no flippin duh, all pain has a purpose, it's to tell you not to do what ever caused something to hurt. OW! That burner's hot and it hurts to touch it, OW! it hurts to break your arm, don't do it! OUCH! IT REALLY FREAKIN' HURTS TO DELIVER, don't do it a lot, the population can't handle it.

It's pain, and although not having delivered yet, I'm pretty sure it's going to hurt a lot and it's not going to be pleasant. I doubt I'll be singing that "I am woman" song while I'm in my 100th hour of labor. Even with the drugs I plan on having pumped into my system. I know I don't handle pain well, I have to be medicated just to get threw menstrual cramps, and you do NOT want to be around me when I have a kidney stone. 

Also I think it gives first time mother's who aren't planning on using drugs ,their choice, an unrealistic sense of what to expect. Maybe if you're like "hey you know what, I shot out a human from my who-ha and it really hurt" they'd have a better chance of making it without the drugs sense they'd be better prepared. That's just a thought. 

Also, when your birthing instructor is a Douala and she brings in one of her clients to talk about her delivery, I tend to doubt the validity of her pain account, not her experience or her emotions, just the part that sounds like an infomercial "and the $800 for (insert instructor's name) to be there and talk to the staff for us and to help me manage the pain was MORE than worth that piddly amount, act now and she'll even throw in a free diaper change!"

Stupid phrasing. 

****edit also, did I mention that the birthing instructor/Douala is also a nurse at the only hospital for like 30 miles sooooooooooooo there's a good chance she'll be there with you for "free" anyways? 

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