Is it spelled with an O or a U or are we talking about the wrong person all together?

I had an urge for a spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy's at about 10:45 last night. On my way back from a my deep fried mission I received a text from my sister that said  "Are you watching the news?". Of course I'm not watching the news, I just drove ten minutes to get $4 fast food in the middle of the night, I needed a break from watching a marathon session of "Two and a half men"(I think the half refers to Charlie Sheen, not the kid as I originally thought).

So, my sister calls me and it turns out that Osama is dead. Ok, WOW, honestly I had stopped thinking about him. I figured he was old, reportedly on dialysis with Kidney problems and would probably go quietly into the night anyways. But, I'm relieved he's not a person to worry about anymore.  Although now, with the video of his violent death, I am worried about him becoming a martyr and his death fueling an increase in attacks world wide, but probably mostly targeted at the US. I also that it might have been poor phrasing for Obama to say "america can do anything it puts it's mind to", I just see that going out in places to people that hate us anyways as "america can do anything it wants to".

In lighter news, Fox News has once again decided to show how unbiased it is creating it's own spelling the recently deceased. Every other news outlet is reporting that "O"sama Bin Laden is dead, while Fox News is Reporting "U"sama Bin Laden is dead. Is Usama Osama's Doppleganger(a doppleganger is your evil twin, someone that looks just like you except for one tiny difference, of course in this case Osama is Usama's doppleganger, because I would like to think that Osama would be the eviler of the two).

Of course it could be that they meant to spell it Obama instead of Osama, maybe it was a mistaken "S" for "b". They did report that "President Obama is dead" as a result of US forces. That report didn't seem to match up with the cheering crowds gather around the world. Anyways here are videos of the crowd ralying around the Chancellor at my college and one of the reporter announcing that the wrong person is dead, I think it'll be pretty clear which video is which.

Also, I would like to apology for the language, I don't know the poeple that posted this video (I got both from YouTube), so if you are affended by poor language just skip this next one. I do however like that it shows the sheer mass of people and the emotion of the moment. Most of us were somewhere between 4th and 8th grade when 9/11 happened and the World Trade Centers collapsed. I remember watching it in Ms. Coe's English Class.

"It's Natural" is a crock of crap

Some people shouldn't watch delivery videos. For those of us that are visual learners, you would think this would be the best way to prepare, but it's not. For all my whining about how horrible horror movies are and the toll they take on my psyche, one would think I would know better. But I don't.

Most of the advice given to a pregnant woman who's  worried she's doing something wrong (and this may just be so she(me) doesn't make 500 million mundane calls to the doctor's office everyday) is to trust your body. Well, my body won't let me bend and rotate so it can see itself being torn in half.

I don't think we're supposed to see what's happening between our legs during the big push, if we were we would have been built without a spine or with mirrors on our feet. There's to much gore and violence for our already weary, aching bodies. The nine month payoff is not the witnessing of all that horror, that's why you need someone else to watch your baby come out. Seriously doctors study for YEARS to be able to sleep after witnessing all of that.

If anyone else is expecting and reading this, sorry if I freaked you out, but that was the worst thing I've ever seen, I don't know why I think I can watch stuff like that.

And DON'T TELL ME it's beautiful and natural and we we're "made to handle it" because that's the dumbest argument I've ever heard. We can handle and recover from broken bones, collapsed lungs and all kinds of diseases. Oil spills (and you know oil alone)  are natural (maybe not when certain gas companies are negligent, but sometimes it bubbles up on it's own). Arsenic  is natural. Lions and tigers and bears (OH MY!) are built to rip us to shreds, but I don't go out and chase them.  Natural is a crock of crap.

Why don't you kick Tiny Tim while you're at it

When I discuss my pregnancy with mothers (anyone's mother not just mine) they usually tell me how much they LOVED being pregnant. That it was the best time of their lives, they had all this energy and were happy all the time. I don't know if there is some kind of hormone that's released right after delivery that brain washes women or if they really did have a dream pregnancy, but either way I hate them.

It's just mean that after I've just told someone I spend 80% of my day with head in a toilet and the other 20% trying to get back to a toilet, that they never got sick during their pregnancy. WHY? Why would you say that? WHAT ON EARTH, makes you think that's okay to tell me? Why don't you walk up to Tiny Tim, kick his crutch out from underneath him (for me the fact that everyone goes through it, it's normal) and start telling him how running is "the most awesome thing ever". Why not walk up to Helen Keller, flick her in the nose, then tell her (sign her) how "nothing compares to a rainbow and she doesn't know what she's missing, that you can't die happy without seeing a rainbow".  You could even find a one armed man and challenge him to a patty cake competition, tell him to do the hokey pokey "Put both arms in and shake them all about  (I mean, it is what it's all about)".

Conversely, please don't regal me with horror stories of bad deliveries, yours, your friend's, or one you read about in the paper. I'm scared enough as it is, I don't need nightmares of 15 pound babies trying to climb out  through my nose after 3 days of labor with no epidural. I need to save my strength to do the hokey pokey, be flicked in the nose, and have my crutches kicked out from underneath me.