Guess what time it is?

That's right, Benford tools is proud to present to much information time!

I have both a UTI and  and a bladder infection. I just lost half my readership. There's just not a lot to right about when you've spent all day rocking in pain, hydrating, and napping. For someone that's never had either before: I hate you. A lot. In fact, you should send me cupcakes. Right now. I'm waiting. Ok. Yeah, I didn't have much hope that would work.

To kind of understand what it's like (UTI's and bladder infections, not waiting for cupcakes, although....)  imagine being on a long, long car  ride while riding through a thunderstorm by a roaring river after drinking three 32 oz big gulps. OK, now imagine you've been stuck in the car for 3 hours and you can't pull over. Does it hurt yet? You know that "OMG SOMETHING IS GOING TO EXPLODE, I'm gonna die from spontaneous internal bladder explosion" feeling? Got the yet? Ok good,now sit around with it for another ten hours. Then, finally get to the bathroom and where it turns out you don't have to go. The need to go isn't gone, but the evidence is.

Now shove all of this routine into about 4 minute intervals. I know according to the description this process should take about 47 hours, but pretend you're in the Tardis with Dr.Who and you're speeding up time with his sonic screw driver (DORK ALERT!). It's just that you have this painful, burning, all consuming need to go but YOU CAN'T. You sweat, you rock, you cry a little and you wish with more power than a 6 year old on Christmas eve that the doctors (the place not the British TV show) office opened at 5 am instead of at the unreasonable hour of 8 am.

Then you get the blessing from the doctor to take some AZO and 30 minutes later you can function.

The end.

Update

Still pregnant, still fat, still unemployed and still unable to write anything interesting.

In other news (but not really) that statement makes me seem really really emo. All I'm missing is the odd haircut and dark clothing (Just so you know, I'm currently in a pretty white on white striped shirt and khaki preggo capris. I look almost wasp like....almost) and pseudo intellectual stance on something completely inane and pointless to snare at lesser people about (although I do have this very strong and snooty belief system for certain brands of chocolate milk).

I do have those short(ish) angled bangs but that's more because I only get my hair cut 3 times a year and the woman that cuts my hair knows this and so tries to cut it short enough that I won't look ridiculous by the time I get around to seeing her again but in doing that makes me look ridiculous for a month after getting it fixed.

And that long run on thought process about my appearance makes me sound super vain.

And the constant commentary on myself makes me sound really concieted,

I'm gonna go sponsor a kid in Africa, clean a stream, and walk a shelter dog at the park (I probably won't do that today, but I'll totally try to us less paper towels and recycle something).

O!  I missed judgmental! The stereotyping of the emo makes me totally judgmental (I am not a valley girl or whatever, my vocabulary just seems stunted today so I keep saying totatlly a lot....see judgmental again). 

AZO is A OKAY

This is a post with way to much information for everyone!!! I possible have ANOTHER bladder infection. One of the few things I always thought would be nice about being "with child" would be that I didn't get my period for 9 months. I didn't know that my monthly punctuation would be replaced with this mess. It looks like I've been drinking Easter Egg dye.

A bladder infection makes you feel like you have to go the bathroom all the time. You don't, you just have an undeniable urge you can't control (much like the beginnings of many other things). Some people handle discomfort with restraint and grace, they handle it so well everyone but their closest peeps (it's (almost) Easter! PEEPS!!!!!) notice that something is a little off. As you all know, I'm not the suffer in silence type, people I've never met often think I'm on my death bed every time I stub my toe.

So today, in class, I was handling this minor annoyance in stoic silence, but I couldn't quite stop my self from rocking. Yes, I sat in class glassy-eyed staring at the teacher, arms crossed rocking. I think I made some people uncomfortable.  I wonder how many readers I've lost with this unnecessary and weird little post.

I don't like those "Hillshire Farm" commercials. It's the same one over and over again with different actors. Kind of like my post are all the same but with different(ish) titles.